Passionate About the Memphis area
and the Moms Who Live Here

I’m A Mother, Not A Father

I’m a Mother, not a Father.

I lost my father when I was 10 years old.  This left my mother to handle the parenting duties alone.  She had a great support system that helped her then, and truth be told, they are still helping.  I truly appreciated all of the sacrifices that my mother made on my behalf.  Yes, she was both mother and father but she never expected me to wish her a happy Father’s Day.

Since my divorce in 2009 I have handled all parenting duties alone.  Just like my mother, I have a great support system that helps when needed.  My sons truly appreciate all of the sacrifices that I make on their behalf. How do I know? Because they not only tell me but they show me. And like my mother I do not expect my sons to wish me a happy Father’s Day.  Why you might ask? Because I’m a mother, not a father.

In that last few years the social noise surrounding acknowledging single mothers on Father’s Day has gotten louder & louder.  Well, not for me, because I am not a father.  A father is male, a father is the sperm part of creating life, a father is the other side of the mother coin.  Although I do perform some of the duties of a father, my God given duty is to be a mother. As much as I would like to, for the sake of my sons, I can’t perform all of the duties of a father.  I acknowledge that fact and the fact that I am a very good mother to my sons and no one can take that from me or them.  When they say thank you from the heart, my job is complete.

When people wish me a happy Father’s Day I politely tell them that I am not a father. My sons have a father and that person is not me. May is the month that we celebrate Mother’s Day.  That’s the day that anyone can take the extra time to help celebrate my achievements as a parent.

There are so many fathers out there that are doing fatherhood the right way.  They are totally involved in the lives of their children whether they are in the house with them or not.  There are fathers that give 100% to being good fathers.  These are the fathers that we celebrate on Father’s Day.  They deserve to have this day just for them. They have earned it. It’s the day where we get to celebrate their achievements as parents.

So on this Father’s Day and all that are to come, please don’t wish me a happy Father’s Day. You took care of that in May when you said Happy Mother’s Day.

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