To My Darling Daughter,
I always knew that I wanted to be a mom. If your dad had on board with it, I would have had you three years sooner, but you were totally worth the wait. The day after I took my implant out, I stocked up on pregnancy tests. I was so anxious and excited. Your dad thought I was crazy- to be honest, I probably was just a little bit. (Yes, I bought a baby outfit for you before you were even conceived.) But hey, I had waited for this for so long! I found out I was pregnant with you 5 minutes before my colonoscopy, because you had me constipated an entire three weeks before results actually appeared on a pregnancy test. Talk about a story…the nurse almost had to pick me up off the ground. I believe her exact words were, “Congratulations. You can go home.” I felt an entire wave of excitement, nervousness, and utter shock.
I spent the better part of the following hours taking more pregnancy tests because it all seemed so unreal. After my conscience was finally satisfied with the fact that I was, indeed, pregnant, I ran out and got a bodysuit that read, “You’re going to be a daddy!” It was all wrapped up with the pregnancy test as a surprise for your dad when he walked in the door. But he already knew what was up when he came inside, because you could have seen me glowing from behind the front door. Although he was not surprised, he was also ecstatic!
I couldn’t wait for you to be born. But fast-forward through that 42 weeks and 3 days, cough cough, um, excuse you! There you were, laying on my chest breastfeeding for the first time, all 7 pounds and 15 ounces of you. I was elated; I still am. Our adventures have been amazing thus far and I am so blessed to call you my little girl. I know most parents probably say the same thing about their children, but really though, I think you are the bee’s knees. Now, here you area at a whole two and half years old and we are expecting the arrival of your baby brother in just a few short days.
You’re so excited. The first thing you do in the morning is rub my tummy and say, “Morning, baby broder!” Throughout the day you’ll continuously lift my shirt and kiss my tummy. I hope you will always love him that way. Even after he’s born. I pray that you will never feel replaced or pushed to the side, even those first few weeks when mommy isn’t getting sleep and baby gets to breastfeed from “your bowdies.” I hope that I am able to create a successful balance when it comes to loving him, and also reminding you that you’ll always be my first born, and with that comes a very special place in my heart.
I have spent the better part of this pregnancy worrying about how you would handle a new baby. After all, you are the apple of my eye. I guess it is a good thing I have two eyes. Nonetheless, despite my worries, I expect that you will be an amazing big sister. I am so excited to watch both of my babies grow and learn from each other. Until that moment comes, though, I will bask in your kisses, and melt in your hugs. I’ll cherish every “I luh you mama” and pray that you will continue to randomly shape your little hands around my face and ask, “Best friends?” Because yes, my love, you will always be my best friend and my first born.
Love you forever and always,