Dear fellow readers, bloggers, friends,
I need your help. There has been a thief coming into my house and taking things and I, for the life of me, cannot seem to catch this person as hard as I’ve tried. Unfortunately, I have been unable to produce any evidence or I would’ve notified the authorities. I have tried to report “missing” or “stolen” items but apparently my items were not “valuable” enough to be considered worth investigating.
Evidently, the word “valuable” can be interpreted differently depending on who you are.
When we first hear the word “valuable” one might instinctively think of things like money, cars, electronics, expensive jewelry, etc. What I think of first, though, is time. I mean what could be more valuable? In fact isn’t there a saying which states: “time is money”? Of course there is; because time IS money! Otherwise, Cher would’ve never been heard singing that song we still can’t get out of our heads. I don’t even need to type in the lyrics and you’ll be humming that thing all day. You’re welcome. Countless movies and books have been made about time: Back to the Future, About Time, The Time Traveler’s Wife, just to name a few. And how many times have you thought to yourself things like: “if only there were more hours in a day” or “I wish I had more time”? If you’re anything like me the answer is, countless.
I know what you’re thinking. Ok, you’re right, but let’s get real here; no one is coming into your house and stealing your time. And that’s when I’d have to tell you how wrong you are and also bring to light the fact that you too might also have the same problem I do, and you don’t even realize it. My conversations with other moms over the years have led me to believe that this thief has been to many of our homes and is possibly working with a whole team of people.
Have you ever bought a brand new package of socks for your kids and you’re all excited because you think, this time is going to be different? THIS time you’re going to make sure those socks make it to the hamper, into the laundry, and they’ll come out TOGETHER to be reunited as a pair and be happily stored away into the kids’ sock drawers to start the beautiful cycle again. But then somehow, despite your efforts and dreams, the laundry comes out of the dryer and as you sit there smiling at all the wonderful clean clothes you can’t wait to fold, you come across one of the new socks. You put it aside because you know – you KNOW – that its one and only mate is somewhere in that pile. But the pile begins to dwindle, along with your smiling face as you fold the last article of clothing and there’s no sign of the matching sock. You retrace your steps back to the laundry room. Surely, you must have dropped it when you took the clean clothes out. Nope. Maybe it’s still in the dryer. Nope. Maybe it got loose and never made into to the wash. Nope. You spend more time looking in all the crevices of your home of where a brand new sock could have possibly wound up in. Nope. You’ve wracked your brain till you feel like a crazy person over this one ridiculous sock until finally you have to move on. It will show up, you tell yourself. No use in wasting any more time on finding it now. Nope.
Fast forward to the next time you’re trying to get out the door with your kids. You’re all ready to go. Just need to get the kids’ shoes and socks on. Need I say more?
To me, every sock I see represents time. A solo sock represents wasted time. A match represents time saved.
Maybe for you it isn’t socks. Maybe it’s bottles, pacifiers, or a sippy cup: the one you KNOW rolled underneath the couch. You saw it with your own two eyes as you were rocking your little one to sleep. Her little fingers went limp and you swore you’d remember where to look for it
right after you put her to bed tomorrow when she wakes up crying for it. Somehow though, when you reach your hand under the couch, it’s mysteriously missing.
If any of you are having similar problems, we need to come together, girls. There’s no way this stuff is just disappearing. We can’t ALL be going crazy. So, if you think you have any viable evidence to help catch these sick individuals sabotaging our lives and stealing our kids’ socks, and bottles, and sippy cups, and whatever else, but most importantly, OUR TIME -please, PLEASE, do the right thing and contact me ASAP.
Let’s put an end to this madness.
Slowly Going Crazy Over Here (one sock at a time)