As women, we have so many unrealistic expectations placed upon us. We should be able to do everything AND look amazingly gorgeous in the process. As mothers, we are supposed to juggle work, husband, kids, family, extracurricular activities, volunteer work, exercising, friends, and find a small moment for some “me-time.” Social media will lead you to believe that if you’re not a “momtrepreneur” then you are not living your best life. You must do self-healing in order to survive. And don’t forget to drink this or eat that to be your best self. Then you see these celebrities with their super clean kids in an all white living room smiling for a professional photographer that want to tell us just how awesome motherhood can be if we follow their steps to a perfect life.
This can’t be real life???
Let me tell you a secret, one mom to another: one thing I have learned is that your life as it is now can be great. You have to be able to find your own path and live your own life unapologetically. I am a mother of three and no, my house isn’t clean. I haven’t worn makeup in quite some time. I cut out all my volunteer work. My exercise consists of chasing a 3-year old around the house. And if I manage to eat without having to share my food, I count it as a victory! I love those moms that are able to balance life, fun, family, and everything in-between; but don’t make us feel guilty because we love being a stay at home mom or just want to spend time with their kids. There are also moms with a special needs child that require more than you can ever imagine. If the kids are happy, keep up the great work. I believe you are amazing because you wake up every single morning and give it a shot.
Just change the way you think about your life!
I began the year with a new mindset: I wanted to focus on my family. It was a hard decision, but I let everything go in order to be a “better mom.” I wanted a redo of sorts. I wanted to spend more quality time with my girls; even though we lived in the same house I was missing them! Our days are already full: I work full-time, they go to school, we come home and deal with homework while I cook, and then after all of that there’s barely any time as a family. Before I gave up all the extras, we would rush to eat so we could attend some event that I had volunteered to work. I was putting unecessary pressure on myself to be what? The false vision of a “perfect mom?” I realized that I had to start with a clean slate in order to make sure my focus was on what I thought was most important to me: being a mom. Since I’ve done this, my life has been so much better! Things are far from perfect, but I can breathe. I can love on my girls the way they deserve. They get their mom back. And slowly I have been able to add some things back, and life is becoming balanced.
LIVE LIKE YOU MEAN IT!
Own your life and love it, mom. Your job is not an easy one. You will make mistakes, and you will feel guilty about a decision made. You may cry some nights. But don’t push yourself to the point that you have nothing left. Don’t beat yourself up because you didn’t finish that degree or you had to quit your job to take care of your family. Be proud that you are able to love someone more than yourself. Hold your head up high because of the sacrifices you made to get to where you are. And it isn’t too late to start. Just start on your own terms.