At the age of 32 my mother became a widow. She also became a single parent to a 10-year-old daddy’s girl. From that moment on, she put all of her energy into being a parent. I was her main focus. We had a wonderful relationship. I talked to my mom about everything.
When I started dating I realized that my mom had not dated, as far as I knew, since my father’s death. I asked her about it and she said that she didn’t want to bring another man into our house. I accepted her explanation and dropped the subject. As I was preparing to leave for college, I thought that now might be a good time to bring up her dating again. Since I was leaving home I didn’t want her to be alone. My grandmother was living with us, but that is totally different than having male companionship. My mother told me that at this point she didn’t want to date again. I truly never understood her feelings or thought process until I became my mother.
After my divorce, I dated and even got engaged, but in the end, I couldn’t reconcile having another man raising my sons. Yes, my sons needed a male influence but things just didn’t work out. My sons didn’t mind me dating, but they were totally against me getting married again. So I did the same thing that my mother did: I put my “love life” on hold. Where I am different from my mother is that as my youngest prepares for college next year, I will start preparing myself to date again. As my sons begin to grow into the independent men that I pray that they will be, I will start to wander back into the dating pool.