Recently I attended a back to school event for my daughter at her new school. I sat down next to some moms I recognized from meet the teacher night. I smiled at them, made eye contact, and waited for any invitation to enter the conversation. Except that never came. 30 minutes came and went while I sat there. Finally it began to feel too much like the movie “Mean Girls” and it was time to go. Of course no one noticed when I left.
As I got in my car, with so many thoughts and emotions running through my mind, I couldn’t help but wonder…
When did everyday Moms turn into “Mean Moms?”
Legit asking for myself, not even a friend.
I raised this question to several of my mom tribe. We discussed the sad facts that many moms are self conscious, that the social media life has taken over real life, and that people don’t know how to talk to people, etc., etc. But, honestly I feel like it comes back to inclusion. We have to learn how to be includers.
Does someone look uncomfortable or out of place? Talk to them! Invite them to sit with you!
Whoa…it’s like the same thing we preach to our kids! ::gasp::
Adults can feel just as uncomfortable as kids do in new situations. People are people.
Maybe you’re like, “But I’m an introvert.” Ummm….so am I, Karen. But I still notice when people don’t feel comfortable, and I don’t want them to feel that way. Even a nod or smile in the person’s direction may help them feel like they are welcome.
We encourage our kids to be inclusive. We encourage them to be nice to everyone. But are we as moms modeling that for them? Or are we, even inadvertently, modeling mean girl behavior?
We as moms have to be an example for our kids. Even if we don’t want to be, we are.
This raised so many questions for me. Am I including others? When I’m with a group in a social setting, am I sticking with people I know instead of branching out to meet others? Do I APPEAR to be mean? I know it can feel like “work” or be uncomfortable to do, but I think it’s important. I want to remember these feelings of “less than” and “left out” as a reminder not to be that way.
I want to be a “You can sit with me” kind of person. I hope you do too!